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Why your Ego loves FEAR

Updated: Jul 17


Why your Ego loves fear and what you can change


Are you aware that your ego loves fear? In fact, it thrives on fear, stress, and anxiety.

However, holding on to fear prevents you from growing as a person and finding true

happiness.


But it’s not your ego’s fault. It’s just trying to protect you!


So what’s a person to do?


What is the ego?


The ego is part of who we think we are. It reacts to the outside world and shapes how you see it. Your ego controls how you view yourself in relation to others. However, it’s important to note that you control this.


Notice the ego self-talk. The self-talk can be both positive and negative.


You may see the ego come through in statements such as I’m not good enough or smart enough.


On the other hand, you may see it in thoughts such as I’m perfect, capable, or beautiful.


The ego uses “I” and “me” in these self-talk conversations.

Pay attention to fear


Since the ego is connected to the outside world and how you view yourself, fear is a prominent part. You may be afraid to look foolish. You may be scared to do something new. You may fear talking to others.


- Your ego is fragile, so it can get hurt easily. For example, someone may say something that hurts your feelings.

- You immediately shut down and don’t want to talk to this person again. This is your ego in action. You’re hurt and scared of hearing them say something negative again.

- It’s beneficial to recognise the fear, learn to adjust it, and work through it.


Understand psychological fear.


In some situations, fear is necessary and can preserve you. However, the fear that comes from your ego is psychological and not necessary


Fear of the unknown or being in a dark alley is normal. This is your gut instinct trying to save you from a dangerous situation.


On the other hand, fear of talking to a safe crowd at a conference is your ego talking. Psychological fear can be damaging, intrusive, and distracting. It can lead to anger and resentment.


Recognise fear and worry.


Fear and worry often appear together. Anxiety can lead you to fear and vice versa. The two are linked, so it’s hard to separate them.


However, if you recognise that worry is the real issue, then fear won’t have a chance to take over. You can control how much you worry, so fear doesn’t have a chance to stop you.


Learn to be present.


By learning to be present and observing your fear from a distance, you can control it.


Awareness is the key to conquering fear created by the ego. Once you’re aware of how your ego is creating fear and anxiety, then you can observe it and learn to shape it.


You have the power to stop the fear in your mind. It’s important to remember that all the negative scenarios in your head don’t have to happen in real life. They can stay as imaginary issues. They may never materialise or cause you heartache.


Fear doesn’t have to take over your life. You can learn to be happy.


Martyn Dawes is a Coach, Social Care Consultant, and Author of The Overwhelmed Manager: What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Martyn@martyndawes.co.uk

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