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Why arguments don’t really matter

Updated: Jul 17, 2022

Everyone will have their own version of you, and there is nothing you can do about it

Everyone has a different version of you. The man on the bus, the passer-by, your partner, your boss, your children, your staff, YOU. Everybody.

Your version of YOU only exists for yourself, and even you don’t know who that really is. There are thousands of different versions of you out there. In the minds of people you swore at and cut up in traffic, to those who you have performed Random Acts Of Kindness too. Those who have fallen out with, and those who adore you for who you are.

Who is it that holds the true version? Is it your partner, is it your staff, is it your boss, or is it you? Understanding this fact is a big step forward but understanding WHY this is true is a massive leap.

You are not the same person to anyone, and this version of you is constantly changing in the minds of yourself, and others. This is also true of everyone you meet. They have thousands of different versions as well?

So when you have an argument, it is not YOU against THEM. It is your version of yourself against their version of you. And they are doing the same. It is much like two avatars fighting.

In The Overwhelmed Manager we go into much more detail than this but for now remember this:

What other people think of you is no concern of yours. It is simply their perception of you against your perception of yourself. So why worry?

Rather than giving you permission to be uncaring and selfish to everyone you meet, it gives you freedom to love unconditionally, even those who upset you the most.

Martyn Dawes is a Coach, Social Care Consultant, and Author of The Overwhelmed Manager: What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

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